Guilt

I’ve thought about it and decided guilt really isn’t a great motivator for anything, really. Especially in my case, I think. Guilt feels like a thick, coarse rope tied around your limbs that tosses you around and around until you are too exhausted to fight back.

Guilt is what kept me in a relationship for six months just a few weeks ago. The three months before that with someone else. Two years with the guy before the other two.

The list goes on, you understand? Guilt hasn’t been too kind on that subject.

Let’s see…oh yes. Guilt is the reason I gave up on everything I applied to in college and just gave up. If I had packed the guilt into the trash where it belonged I wouldn’t be sitting here in my parents apartment writing about it.

I would be in Thailand right now riding on my scooter and answering e-mails on my new iPhone about my startup in Flatiron. I would be glancing back toward coach from my business class seat and snickering while I sip my champagne and kick my feet up after a string of business meetings in China. Oh guilt…you have humbled me into average inadequacy.

So, my post New Year’s resolution is to toss guilt (and the fear on the bottom of that barrel) out the window and not even watch it crash. I do not have time for that right now.

I will finally wake up Monday morning and not venture into anything guilt related and just flow.

Image belongs to Zara.com